The Skilled Helper- part 1

The Skilled Helper

ABOUT THE AUTHOR viii
PREFACE TO THE NINTH EDITION x
A GUIDE TO THE NINTH EDITION xiii

PART 1
LAYING THE GROUNDWORK 1

CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION TO HELPING 3
Formal and Informal Helpers : A Very Brief History 4
What Helping is About 5
The Role of a Working Model of Full Human Functioning 11
Challenges for the Helping Professions 15
The Professional Curriculum 27
Moving from Smart to Wise : Managing the Shadow Side of Helping 33

CHAPTER 2
THE HELPING RELATIONSHIP : VALUES IN Action 35
The Helping Relationship 36
The Relationship as a Working Alliance 37
The Values That Drive the Helping Relationship 40
Respect as the Foundation Value 42
Empathy as a Primary Orientation Value 44
Client Responsibility as an Empowerment-Focused Value 53
A Bias for Action as an Outcome=Focused Value 58
Shadow-Side Realities in the Helping Relationship 60

CHAPTER 3
OVERVIEW OF THE HELPING MODEL 64
Problem Management : A Human Universal 65
Rational Problem Solving and Its Limitations 66
The Skilled Helper Model : A Problem-Management and
Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping 68
Stage I : The Current Picture-Help Clients Clarify the Key
Issues Calling for Change 72
Stage II : The Preferred Pictured-Help Clients Identify ,
Choose , and Shape Problem-Managing Goals 75
Stage III : The Way Forward-Help Clients Develop Strategies and
Plans for Accomplishing Goals 78

The Action Arrow : Help Clients Implement Their Plans 80
`` How Are We Doing ? `` -Ongoing Evaluation of the Helping Process 81
Becoming a Competent Helper 82
Flexibility in the Use of the Model 84
The Search for Best Practice 86
Understanding and Dealing With the Shadow Side of Helping Models 88

PART 2
STAGE I OF THE HELPING PROCESS AND THE
SKILLS OF THERAPEUTIC DIALOGUE 91

CHAPTER 4
STAGE I : THE CURRENT PICTURE 93
I . An Introduction to Stage I : The Current Picture 94
Task 1 : Help Clients Tell Their Stories 97
Help Clients Move into Action Right from the Beginning 112
II . Help Clients Manage Reluctance and Resistance 116
Reluctance : Misgiving about Change 116
Resistance : Reacting to Coercion 119
Engagement : Overcoming Reluctance and Resistance 121
Help Clients Tap Into Their Resilience 124

CHAPTER 5
THE COMMUNICATION SKILLS OF THERAPEUTIC DIALOQUE :
THE SKILLS OF TUNING IN ACTIVELY LISTENING TO CLIENTS 127
The Importance of Dialogue Focused Communication Skills in Helping 128
I . Visibly Tuning In : The Importance of Empathic Presence 131
Nonverbal Behavior as a Channel of Communication 132
II . Active Listening : The Foundation of Understanding 136
Forms of Poor Listening 137
Empathic Listening : Listening to Clients' Stories and Their Search
for Solutions 138
Focused Listening : Experiences , Thoughts , Behaviors ,and Affect 139
Processing What You Hear : The Thoughtful Search for
Contextual Meaning 149
Listening to Oneself : The Helper's Internal Conversation 154
The Shadow Side of Listening : Distorted Listening 155
The Shadow Side of Communication : The Missing Skills 159







CHAPTER 6
EMPATHIC RESPONDING : WORKING AT MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING 161
Introduction to Responding Skills and the Importance of
Empathic Relationships 162
The Three Dimensions of Responding Skills : Perceptiveness ,
Know-How , and Assertiveness 164
Responding with Empathy : The Basic Formula 167
Become Competent and Confident in Responding with Empathy 174
Tactics for Responding with Empathy 181
Mara and Carlos Revisited 182
The Shadow Side of Responding 184

CHAPTER 7
THE ART OF PROBING AND SUMMARIZING 188
Nudging 189
I . The Art of Probing 189
II . The Art of Summarizing : Providing Focus and Direction 201
The Shadow Side of Communication Skills : Essential ,
But Not Everything 207
Developing Proficiency in Communication Skills 208

CHAPTER 8
STAGE I : TASK 2 FACILITATE CLIENT SELF-CHALLENGE :
FROM NEW PERSPECTIVES TO NEW BEHAVIOR 210
Challenge : The Basic Concept 211
Inviting Clients to Challenge the Blind Spots at the Root of Dysfunctional
Thinking , Emotional Expression , and Behavior 223
Specific Skills for Helping Clients Challenge Their Blind Spots and
Move to New Perspectives 226
Facilitating Client Self-Challenger : A Key to Second-Order Change 240

CHAPTER 9
STAGE I : TASK3-PARTNER WITH CLIENTS IN THEIR
SEARCH FOR VALUE 243
I : Further Thoughts on Challenge 244
Help Clients Challenge Themselves to Participate as Fully as
Possible in the Helping Process 244
From Smart to Wise : Guidelines for Effective Challenging 252
Linking Challenge to Action 257
II . Stage I : Task 3-Help Clients Work on Issues That Will
Add Value to Their Lives 260
The Shadow Side of Helpers : Failing in the Search for Value 271


PART 3
THE UNDERAPPRECIATED DIMENSIONS OF HELPING 275

CHAPTER 10
INTRODUCTION TO STAGE II AND III : DECISIONS ,
GOALS , OUTCOMES , AND IMPACT 277
I . Help Clients Become More Effective Decision Makers 278
II . Solution-Focused Helping 290
III . Help Clients Discover and Use Their Power through Goal Setting 296

CHAPTER 11
STAGE II : THE PREFERRED PICTURE-HELP CLIENTS
DESING AND COMMIT TO A BETTER FUTURE 304
The Three Tasks of Stage II 305
Task 1 : Help Clients Discover Possibilities for a Better Future 306
Skills for Identifying Possibilities for a Better Future 307
Task 2 : Crafting the Change Agenda : Help Clients Move from
Possibilities to Choice 320
Task 3 : Help Clients Commit Themselves-`` What Am I Willing to
Pay for What I Want ? `` 340
Stage II and Action 349
The Shadow Side of Goal Setting 352

CHAPTER 12
STAGE III : THE WAY FORWARD : HELP CLIENTS DEVELOP
TO ACCOMPLISH GOALS 354
The Three Tasks of Stage III 355
Mara and Carlos Revisited : Mara's Goals 357
Task 1 : Help Clients Develop Strategies for Accomplishing Their Goals 358
Task 2 : Help Clients Choose Best-Fit Strategies 368
Task 3 : Help Clients Formulate Viable Plans 377
Principles for Humanizing the Mechanics of Constructive Change 382
The Explosion of Ready Made Programs 387

CHAPTER 13
THE ACTION ARROW : MAKING IT ALL HAPPEN 397
Introduction to Implementation 398
Mara Moves into Action 399
Help Clients Move from Planning to Action : Principles of
Effective Implementation 401
Tapping into Social Support : The Importance of Challenge 410
The Shadow Side of Implementing Change 413
Resilience Revisited : People's Ability to Hold Themselves Together ,
Bounce Back , and Grow 418
Getting along Without a Helper : A Striking Case 419
Choosing not to Change 421



AN AFTERWORD 423
REFERENCES 428
NAME INDEX 467
SUBJECT INDEX 475